After spending all of my savings to pay for treatments and in danger of losing my apartment which I had worked so hard to obtain, now I finally have come to realize what is most important to me and what really counts. Money and all the material things do not mean anything to me now. There is no room in my heart for regrets and longing. Is it deprivation when we are denied a normal life? And what really are deprivation and a normal life? Even though I don’t have any material goods now I feel much richer than ever before. My goal is to achieve peace in my heart and be happy and grateful for each day that I feel no pain .And when I finally ended up with nothing, when I lost everything that I had strived to accomplish over nine years of hard work in the U.S., I have begun to feel free. The only thing of any significance to me is peace within myself and freedom from meeting everyone’s expectations. I have started to gradually discover my life’s inner space. Going through those hard moments have enabled me to truly see who I am. I am trying to free myself from the old preconceived and still existing mental structures in order to find in myself that part that has not awakened yet.